Jokes for Wednesday

1)HUSBAND:-"For the last time," a husband shouted, "Are you ready to go?
WIFE :- "For heavens sake, be quiet," replied his wife. "I have been telling you for last one hour that I will be ready in a minute.

2)Sam goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
"Boss," he says, "we are doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with moving and cleaning stuff.
"We''re short handed, Sam" the boss replies. "I cant give you the day off.
# "Thanks, boss," says Sam "I knew I could count on you!!

3)Women are like..Credit Cards. You never know how much you have spent on them, and at the end of the month they make you cry!!!

4)Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver and wife is kidney.
If liver fails, then kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney!!!

5)Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager's office.
"What does this mean? the manager asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had 4 years of work experience. Now we found out that this is your first job.
"Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

6)In the office
Clerk: Sir!! I apologize for being late today. The elevator got stuck due to load shedding, and I was in the elevator for an hour.
Manager: It is ok as I too got suck in the escalator because it stopped moving almost for 45 minutes.

7)A Man rings his boss and says, I have to take a day off work, because my wife and I are having a baby.
Boss :Oh, Ok.
The next day the man comes to work and his boss says, Is it a boy or a girl?
The man says, I dont know. I will tell you in 9 months.

8)An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, No.
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was Why?
The applicant answered it anyway: Never got caught!!!

9)An MBA and a Bcom go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.
Suddenly Bcom wakes his MBA friend. " look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars.
Bcom guy : What does that tell you?
MBA Guy : Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.Theologically,Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
MBA Guy :What does it tell you?"
The Bcom is silent for a moment, then speaks: Practically...Someone has stolen our tent.

10)One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can''t do it because he is her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times!!!
The girl starts crying and tells her  "Mom,What have you been doing all your life? Dad''s been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can''t marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"
Her mom replies, Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he is not really your dad.

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